‘Hi.’
‘Hey.’
‘I miss you.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I miss you too.’
‘I mean… I really miss you.’
‘Me too.’
‘No. You don’t understand. I miss you like I miss home. I miss you like a dog misses running in the park, or like a duck misses… something…fuck it, I don’t know… I just miss you a lot.’
‘Sweetie! So romantic. I’m swooning here…’
‘Shut up.’
‘Wait… Did you just say: like a duck misses –‘
‘No.’
‘water?’
‘No.’
‘Oh my god! You totally did!
‘Maybe I was gonna say something else…’
‘Like what!?… Waddling?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Quacking?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Sweet and sour sauce?’
‘You know you’re ruining the moment right?’
‘You’re right; I’m sorry. I miss you too.’
‘You do?’
‘Yes,  ….like sleep.’
‘Sheep!?’
‘I said sleep.’
‘Soooo…you’re pilfering song lyrics now?’
‘Well, I couldn’t think of anything! I should have gone with chocolate…’
‘You miss me like a slab of addictive, fat-inducing confectionary?’
‘Hey; I tried. You started this cheesiness.’
‘The good news is, I’m missing you a little less now…’
‘At least I didn’t say: like a fish misses water.’
‘It was a duck.’
‘Whatever.’
‘…misses the south in winter time.’
‘Ha! You were so gonna say water.’
‘It’s still better than: I miss you like fat people miss chocolate.’
‘Pffft. Debatable.’
‘Ok; I’m going. I miss you.’
‘Yeah; I miss you too.’
‘Bye then.’
‘Quack quack.’
‘See…you always have to take it one step too far.’
‘Quack?’
‘Byyyye.’
‘Bye.’