Depression is no laughing matter. I said this a long time ago to my then girlfriend, a psychologist. She found it funny, and ended up using it as the title of a presentation that she gave to a group people suffering depression. I doubt they laughed much, Continue reading
Running. It’s torture yes. But the rewards! I don’t know what smack does for people: by all reports it’s pretty good. Running however is free! AND there’s no track marks, no risk of OD, and no need to go sell your ass on the street for 5 bucks a pop because your life has collapsed into a steaming pile of shit through insurmountable, humiliating and soul-destroying addiction. Continue reading
Hello. My name is Steve Ransom, and I am still a drug addict. It has been 25 minutes since my last drink. Yes, I confess, after 30 days clean, without a drop, I decided that it was time to find out what happens when I finally have coffee again. Today, is Consumption Day.
I think I may have declared victory against my coffee addiction a liiiittle early (on day 6). It’s now over three weeks since I quit coffee. 23 days to be precise. This morning, sitting in the cafe, the guy next to me receives what I know is a hideous tasting cup of Indonesian swill coffee1, but as soon as I smelled it I felt great sadness and craving. Continue reading
It is now day 6 with no coffee. I realise it’s been a while between posts, but since my last at the 72 hour mark, there has been little to report except a gradual decrease in the physical symptoms; that is, I have gradually become less tired, my body has become less sore, and I have started feeling less despondent. Continue reading
It has now been 72 hours since I quit coffee. Today, I’m happy to report, has been better than yesterday. I’m still tired. Still slept for two hours after breakfast, but I did raise the energy to exercise twice today. The dysphoria has reduced to a low-grade despondency. I’m beginning to think that the worst of it may be over, Continue reading
It is now 48 hours since I quit coffee. I feel dreadful. Zero energy, and my eyes are heavy; falling down heavy. I can barely keep them open. I just want to crawl into bed. Writing about it is the last thing I want to do. I decided to leave the house this morning and go to the local cafe for tea and breakfast. The lady sitting next to me ordered a giant cup of coffee of course. Continue reading
Well…it’s now about 5pm, 7 hours or more past the time I would normally have finished my coffees (I always have 2) for the day. I think that ‘dysphoric’, surprisingly, is a very good descriptor for what I’m feeling right now. ‘Like shit’ would also cover it. Tired, with a surprisingly mild but constant headache. And blue. Low. Despondent. Short on inspiration, short on patience. Absolutely no desire to talk to or see anyone.
So I have my first confession to make – I’m fully hyped for the quitting as I said, and am greatly enjoying the unique perspective and opportunities for in-depth analysis of addictive behaviors that it affords. It’s just that I’m having a liiiitle trouble with some of the finer details of the process; specifically, the part about not drinking the coffee. Continue reading
I was all set to quit, and excited about it, really; fully hyped for the quitting I was. Continue reading