I can feel someone looking at me. Worse, it’s an ‘I’m about to try to start a conversation and it will be annoying’ type look. Please stop with the looking. Can’t you see I’m reading? Quietly? Quietly reading? Emphasis on qui… “Hi!”, no discernible pause, abrasive American accent, “Watcha reading?”
Jesus. Here we go. Without looking up, “Umm….”, Continue reading →
He stood and looked up at the tree, and wondered if it was dying. It looked kind of… dishevelled. It had some dead branches at the top that he could not remember seeing when he had been younger. He could not remember seeing so many insects on it either, and having climbed this tree hundreds of times he felt he would have noticed, unless youth and enthusiasm had somehow caused him to overlook what appeared to him now as streams of rather nasty looking ants, tufts of intimidating cobwebs, and thousands of tiny holes each no doubt occupied by some bitty type pest. He’d had it looked at, the tree. Looked at by someone who ought to know a dying tree when he saw one. But according to this guy anyway, a Level 5 Arborist as he’d repeatedly mentioned, the tree was fine.
Continue reading →
Hi Sarah! Love your profile picture.
May I ask…is that your ex boyfriend?
Because I’m telling you straight up,
I can’t compete with him tongue wise…
That guy’s a freak! I’m pretty sure I’ve got
him beat on the conversation front though.
Hilarious. To be honest my ex had
many dog like qualities – loyalty
wasn’t one of them as it turns out.
Continue reading →
Writer’s block; it’s like being constipated. There’s plenty of stuff in there, but it’s all shit. The solution, according to millions of websites, blogs, blurbs, books, ancient scrolls etc, is to write. What!? Idiots. If I could write I’d… Well, obviously I can write; it’s just that what I’m writing is so abysmally putrid it makes me want to projectile vomit, Continue reading →
‘I miss you.’
‘I miss you too.’
‘I mean… I really miss you.’ Continue reading →
Hello Dear Readers,
As it’s been a month now, it’s time for a new edition of the Ransomology Weekly Newsletter.
This week’s edition’s tardiness is due largely to the intense pestilence known as ’employment’; specifically, the seeking of such by your beloved protagonist; more specifically, and highest on the pestilence scale, the necessity of finding such for which I will be remunerated. Continue reading →
I lie in the grass looking up at a tree,
and I wonder, can tree, somehow also see me?
As he’s wanting for eyes, you’d think probably not,
though eyes be just one way of seeing we’ve got. Continue reading →
February Something 2015
Hello Cherished Readers!
Yes, yes, I know this is supposed to be a weekly newsletter, and yes I know I’ve only released four in the last 20 weeks, but I’m not changing the name to the ‘Ransomology Quint-Weekly Newsletter’, so just forget it. Continue reading →
Today I attacked the storage unit. I tore open the door to its cavernous interior, gazed upon its towering contents, then shut it again and was afraid. Continue reading →
‘You want to go get some lunch?’
‘Hmm… thanks for asking, but I need to go for a run today.’
‘You ran yesterday!’
‘So why not skip it today and come to lunch with us?’
‘Can’t. If I don’t run, it’ll catch up.’
‘Dare I ask?’ Continue reading →