I can feel someone looking at me. Worse, it’s an ‘I’m about to try to start a conversation and it will be annoying’ type look. Please stop with the looking. Can’t you see I’m reading? Quietly? Quietly reading? Emphasis on qui… “Hi!”, no discernible pause, abrasive American accent, “Watcha reading?”
Jesus. Here we go. Without looking up, “Umm….”, Continue reading
He stood and looked up at the tree, and wondered if it was dying. It looked kind of… dishevelled. It had some dead branches at the top that he could not remember seeing when he had been younger. He could not remember seeing so many insects on it either, and having climbed this tree hundreds of times he felt he would have noticed, unless youth and enthusiasm had somehow caused him to overlook what appeared to him now as streams of rather nasty looking ants, tufts of intimidating cobwebs, and thousands of tiny holes each no doubt occupied by some bitty type pest. He’d had it looked at, the tree. Looked at by someone who ought to know a dying tree when he saw one. But according to this guy anyway, a Level 5 Arborist as he’d repeatedly mentioned, the tree was fine.
Hi Sarah! Love your profile picture.
May I ask…is that your ex boyfriend?
Because I’m telling you straight up,
I can’t compete with him tongue wise…
That guy’s a freak! I’m pretty sure I’ve got
him beat on the conversation front though.
Hilarious. To be honest my ex had
many dog like qualities – loyalty
wasn’t one of them as it turns out.
Hello Dear Readers,
As it’s been about three months now, I figure it’s time for a new rendition of the Ransomology Weekly Newsletter.
As previously discussed, in order to avoid starving to death, living on the street, living on the street while starving to death, or pimping my ass; I had to get a job. Continue reading
‘I miss you.’
‘I miss you too.’
‘I mean… I really miss you.’ Continue reading
Running. It’s torture yes. But the rewards! I don’t know what smack does for people: by all reports it’s pretty good. Running however is free! AND there’s no track marks, no risk of OD, and no need to go sell your ass on the street for 5 bucks a pop because your life has collapsed into a steaming pile of shit through insurmountable, humiliating and soul-destroying addiction. Continue reading
Hello Dear Readers,
As it’s been a month now, it’s time for a new edition of the Ransomology Weekly Newsletter.
This week’s edition’s tardiness is due largely to the intense pestilence known as ’employment’; specifically, the seeking of such by your beloved protagonist; more specifically, and highest on the pestilence scale, the necessity of finding such for which I will be remunerated. Continue reading
Well, as promised, I’m writing about this, even though I’m plagued by the fear that it’ll be dead boring. I mean, does anyone really want to hear about how much I’m struggling to let go of my possessions? Continue reading
February Something 2015
Hello Cherished Readers!
Yes, yes, I know this is supposed to be a weekly newsletter, and yes I know I’ve only released four in the last 20 weeks, but I’m not changing the name to the ‘Ransomology Quint-Weekly Newsletter’, so just forget it. Continue reading
Alright… here’s a quick recap on what’s going on here: I am selling, auctioning, giving away, throwing out, burning or illegally dumping, everything I own. Either that or I’m shrouding it in concrete, and letting it swim wit da fishes. Continue reading